Explore the origins, usage, and cultural significance of the phrase 'between you and me and the bedpost,' a classic expression denoting confidentiality.
The phrase “between you and me and the bedpost/gatepost/four walls/lamppost” is employed to denote a request for confidentiality. It is an elaboration of the simpler expression “just between you and me,” often preceding the sharing of gossip or sensitive information.
The expression “between you and me and the bedpost” dates back to the early nineteenth century. It was notably utilized by Edward Bulwer-Lytton in Eugene Aram (1832), where he wrote: “Between you and me and the bedpost, young master has quarrelled with old master.” The phrase has also appeared in the works of Charles Dickens and other literary figures of the period. The variant “between you and me and the lamppost” may be slightly older, though it has largely fallen out of contemporary usage.
The phrase serves as a rhetorical device to emphasize the need for secrecy. Its various iterations—whether involving a bedpost, gatepost, four walls, or lamppost—add a layer of humor or irony, suggesting that even inanimate objects are privy to the confidential exchange. The expression underscores the speaker’s trust in the listener’s discretion while simultaneously acknowledging the potential for indiscretion.
In contemporary culture, the phrase is often employed in informal settings, particularly in conversational exchanges where gossip or private information is shared. It appears in literature and film as a means of illustrating characters’ relationships and the dynamics of trust and secrecy.
In professional contexts, the phrase might be used humorously to preface confidential business information. Socially, it often serves to introduce gossip or personal secrets. In literary contexts, it can function as a narrative device to reveal character motivations or plot developments.
The phrase retains its relevance in modern discourse, primarily in informal settings. Its humorous undertones and historical roots contribute to its enduring appeal. Durability: ★★★★☆
“Between you and me and the bedpost, young master has quarrelled with old master.” - Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Eugene Aram (1832)
“Between you and me and the gatepost, I think he’s hiding something.” - Charles Dickens, Bleak House